The Warner Years
by Sonic is the fastest thing
Summary: A traditional Animaniacs sendup of one of the most beloved television shows ever.  The Warners make one of their legendary escapes from the tower during the 1980s and appear on a lost episode of The Wonder Years.


The Warner Years.

(All character names are slightly parodied, except I've kept Paul's last name as Pfeiffer, for a joke to be used later.)

(The Warner Years theme song. Sung by:Yakko (first line, spoken parts) Wakko (second line, chorus), and Dot. (chorus))

"What would you do if I played the bassoon? Would you throw a cucumber at me?" sang Yakko.

"Lend me your ear and I'll make you go deaf, and I'll try not to belch out of key!" sang Yakko. Dot joined in on the chorus.

"Oh, I get by with a little boost from my pals!"

"The last thing I need is to get sued for this!" Yakko said.

"I get high with a little boost from my pals!"

"That means exactly what you think it does!" Yakko said.

"I'm gonna try with a little boost from my pals!"

"Try to get a date with Michelle Pfeiffer that is!" Yakko said.

"Ooh, ooh, ohh...hey!"

"1968. I was 12 years old. Nothing really happened that year, unless you count war as something important. But rather than telling you about it in a boring monologue, I'll just show you the events of my life." the narrator said.

The camera zoomed in on Yakko Warner, who waved to the tv crowd. It was the Warners' first tv appearance in almost a decade.

"There I am. No wait, that's not me. Aha (Wakko Warner appears), no, that's not me either. (Dot appears) No, that definitely isn't me. I don't recall meeting these kids before!"

"Well that's good! They're recalling everything these days! Ask the Chinese!" Yakko said.

"I don't get it." said the narrator.

"Hey I don't write 'em, I just say 'em!" Yakko replied.

"Right..."

"I don't get it. We finally come back, and we parody a show from the 80s that takes place in the 60s." Wakko said.

"This is a cartoon, Wakko. We go where the writers take us. And I hear the guy writing this episode is a comedic genius! Besides, if you think this is weird, wait until our Hannah Montana gig next week!" Yakko said.

"Who are you?" the narrator asked.

"Uhh...(pause) we'll tell your other self!" Yakko replied.

"Okay..."

The three Warners approached young Kevin Ahnold.

"I've never seen you guys before! Who are you?"

"We're the Warner brothers!" Yakko and Wakko said.

"And the Warner sister!" Dot added. It was her signature line.

"That's when it hit me...this was going to be quite a day."

"Helloooooo, Mr. 80s megastar!" Dot lept into Kevin's arms and gave him one of her signature kisses right on the lips.

"Yep. This was going to be weird."

young Kevin looked down the street to see Winnie Keeper coming down the street. She approached the group.

"Hi Kevin!" she said.

"Winnie looked even more beautiful than usual that day. I wanted to put my arm around her and take her to the nicest, most expensive..." the narrator said.

Yakko looked at the camera.

"Do you really have to do that?" he asked.

"Yes. It's a big part of the show."

"Okay." Yakko suddenly turned and noticed Winnie. She looked absolutely stunning, but then again, she was Winnie Keeper. His heart began to beat faster, like it would around Hello Nurse.

"Helloooooooo, Wonder Nurse!" he lept into her arms and kissed her, very much like Dot had done to Kevin. "Is there a place that serves something edible around here? I can see us there in a minute!" The poor girl didn't know what to do, so she dropped Yakko.

"Kevin, I'm scared! What's going on?" she said.

"Well, uh, I'm not sure if I know, unless you think you know, in which case I might also..." young Kevin said.

"I was talking myself into a corner. I didn't know what was going on, so I just decided to introduce Winnie to my new friends." the narrator said.

"Uh, Winnie, meet...um, actually, you never said your names."

"Oh, forgive us. I'm Yakko" Yakko said.

"I'm Wakko." Wakko said.

"And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third!" Kevin and Winnie stared blankly. "But you can call me Dot!" The Warner sister finished. "Call me Dottie and you'll wind up in a pine box!"

Kevin and Winnie didn't know what to say to that. Then again, who ever knew what to say to the Warners after some of their jokes?

Dot walked over to Winnie and looked her over from top to bottom. She looked toward the camera.

"I'm cuter." she said.

"Yeah, but it's a close contest!" Wakko said. He and Yakko were practically drooling over Winnie. Dot was annoyed, as usual.

"Boys. I hope they grow out of it soon!" she said.

"Hey Kevin!" Kevin winced at the sound of the voice. At this point, the narration kicked in again.

"It was Eddie Pansketti, the neighborhood bully." He stepped to the side to show his cronies with Kevin's best friend, Paul Pfeiffer in tow.

"I ran into your friend Pfeiffer here, and thought I'd return him home."

"Hi Kevin! Hi Winnie!" He said, as if he was unaware of his predicament. He then noticed Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. "Hey, who are they?"

"Oh no you don't! We only do that once per episode!" Dot said.

"Say, are you related to Michelle Pfeiffer?" Yakko asked.

"Who?" Paul replied.

"Ah...nevermind." Yakko said. Eddie noticed the Warners.

"What's this, Ahnold? Some new friends for me to wail on?"

"I didn't know how the Warners would react to the threat of violence." the narrator said.

Yakko motioned to his siblings.

"I think we've just met our new special friend."

"I didn't have any idea what Yakko was up to. But I knew there was going to be trouble." the narrator said.

"Kevin, help!"

"Eddie had grabbed Winnie around the throat, intent on hurting her, because he knew that would hurt me."

"Yeah, come on Kevin, help! I dare you to try it!" Eddie said. Kevin stepped forward, but Yakko tapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of him!" he said.

Wakko pulled out his gag bag. He selected three mallets and handed one each to Yakko and Dot. Eddie kept laughing and choking Winnie. Wakko tapped him on the back.

"What do you want, you little..." He freaked out and dropped Winnie, and the Warners proceeded to smash him with their mallets.

"You won't see that on the Brady Bunch!" Dot said. Kevin and Winnie were shocked.

"You didn't kill him, did you?" Kevin asked.

"No, not since that unwritten law that made death in cartoons illegal!" Yakko said.

"But Wakko, what law are you referring to?" Dot asked.

"The 4Kids Death Euphemism law."

"I'm hungry. Is there a place to eat around here?" Wakko asked.

"Yes. In fact, Kevin and I were planning on going to the pizza parlor." Winnie said.

"Sure! I'll buy, even!" Kevin said.

"Faboo!" Wakko said. He lept into the air.

"But when we reached the pizza parlor, Eddie was there with his gang."

The group stepped in the door.

"Well, if it isn't my old friends!" he said.

"If we're his 'old' friends, he needs to find some kids his own age to hang out with!" Yakko whispered. Kevin walked toward Eddie.

"Eddie, if this is about Winnie, I've got one thing to say!" he said.

"Look out below!" Wakko yelled. He dropped an anvil from the rafters, which knocked out one of Eddie's buddies. Unfortunately, he was aiming for Eddie.

"Oh Wakko! Your heart was in the right place!" Dot said.

"Unfortunately, your aim was a bit off!" Yakko said. Eddie suddenly grabbed Dot from behind.

"Well, what have we got here?" he said. Dot struggled in his grasp.

"Yep, he's a pedophile!" Yakko said. Still, he watched with concern for his little sister.

"So what's your name, cupcake?" Eddie asked.

"Dot. And don't you forget it!" she said. Eddie tightened his grip. "Well Dottie, I'm going to have to hurt you to send a message to your friends over here!" Yakko and Wakko gasped.

"Tell me you didn't just call my sister Dottie!" Wakko said.

"Yeah, so what?" Eddie said. Yakko smiled and winked at Dot.

"Oh, nothing. It's your hospital bill!" he said. He walked over to Kevin and Winnie. "By the way, I'd duck in cover if I were you."

Dot dropped some dynamite into Eddie's pants.

"Here's some dynamite down your pants, courtesy of my old friend Slappy Squirrel!" She said. Slappy stood in the corner.

"Hey, I needed the money, and this episode needed some explosives!" she said. She finished the wiring and gave the signal.

"Hit it, Wakko!" Yakko said. Wakko detonated the dynamite. Eddie was sent sky high, and his gang high-tailed it. Eventually, he came back down to the ground, and the Warners were waiting. They smashed him with their mallets for the second time that day.

"That'll show him not to call me Dottie!" Dot said.

"Is he hurt?" Winnie asked.

"No. I already told you, no one gets hurt in cartoons! Except for anime!" Yakko said.

"But what about the pizza parlor? You guys destroyed it!" Kevin said. Yakko patted him on the shoulder.

"Oh that. Not a problem!" he said.

"In a matter of minutes, they had completely rebuilt the pizza parlor. We finally got to eat lunch. Wakko ate the empty pizza boxes and our glasses."

"That's our little garbage disposal!" Yakko said.

"We said our goodbyes after that. I never saw those three again, until they appeared on a popular cartoon series called 'Animaniacs' in 1993. Later that night, I got to thinking. I realized that with friends like them, you didn't need amazing weapons. All you had to do was relax; they had it taken care of."

The scene switched to the Warners in a time machine.

"Okay sibs, where to next?" Yakko asked. "How about somewhere else in the '80s?"

"Okay!" Dot said.

"Faboo!" Wakko said.

"All right! Away we go!" Yakko said. They ended up landing in the middle of a scene from the movie "Back To The Future." Their machine was suddenly opened by Marty Mcfly.

"Hey! You're not Doc!" he said.

"And you're not Michelle Pfeiffer or one of those cute kids from Full House either! My mistake!" Yakko said. He shut the hatch. "Well sibs, where to next?"

"How about we go back to the future?" Wakko said.

"Wakko, we're in "Back To The Future" right now!" Dot said.

"No! I mean back to the future."

"I think he means home, Dot. By the way, nice pun, Wakko!" Yakko said as he readied the time machine for another trip.

"To infinity, and...somewhere else!" he said. The Warners and their time machine shot out of sight in the blink of an eye.

The end.


End file.
